“Don’t be chutzpadik” is the modern Hebrew equivalent of the classic American parenting admonition: “Don’t be fresh!” and “Don’t talk back!” The challenges of parenting have always included the art of balancing a relationship with one’s child while maintaining the proper amount of warmth and discipline. This is especially true during the “know-it-all-years,” when a child is most prone to contradict his/her parents.
Jewish parents will be thrilled to find out that, when it comes to parent-child relationships, Jewish law is strongly on the parents’ side. The fundamental Torah statement, “Every man, your mother and father shall you revere,” is actually defined by a fascinating array of many specific laws. One popular example is that a child may not sit in the seat in which his/her father or mother customarily sit (Leviticus 19:3, and Rashi).
It seems rather obvious to note that being chutzpadik (talking back to one’s parent) is a breech of the obligation to revere one’s father or mother. But, the halacha (Jewish law) goes even further. A person should even avoid contradicting one’s parent. It is not nearly as easy as it sounds. Here is an example cited in the Talmud:
(Following a discussion of required punishments, Rab Judah tells his father, “Teach it not thus,” and then proceeds to present what he feels is a more accurate understanding. This text follows that correction.) Samuel said to Rab Judah: ‘You keen scholar, do not speak to your father like this, for it has been taught: If one’s [father] is [unwittingly] transgressing a precept of the Torah, his son must not say, ‘Father, you transgress a Biblical precept’, but [should] say, ‘Such is written in the Torah.’ [The sages continue the discussion one step further]…Rather, he must say this, ‘Father, the following verse is written in the Torah [and let his father come to his own understanding]’ (Talmud Sanhedrin 80b-81a).
Rather than pointing out a parent’s mistake, it is preferred that the child say, “Excuse me, is it possible that…” or find another discreet means of letting the parent know of his/her error. Most importantly, the above quote demonstrates that for a mitzvah like revering one’s parents, even the most highly regarded scholar must stay on guard.
Copyright © 2013 NJOP. All rights reserved.
If you like what you’ve read here, signup to get notifications about new treats.
Related Posts
Father’s Day Every Day
Observe Father's Day every day by honoring your father (and your mother).
0 Comments1 Minute
If It Is Possible
When you read of a call for bone marrow donors, volunteer to be tested for the…
0 Comments1 Minute