marriage

"The Hated Wife”

Is it possible that the great patriarch, Jacob, actually “hated” his wife? The commentators wrestle with this issue.

“What Shall I Do, My Parents Hate Him?!”

In parashat Chayei Sarah, we encounter the world’s first shidduch (arranged marriage) and the world’s first shadchan (matchmaker). In the past, we have discussed how Jewish law mandates that a woman not be married against her will, but what about the more general question related to children who refuse to listen to their parents’ opinion regarding choosing a mate, and wish to marry mates to whom their parents object? What is the protocol?

"The Willing Bride"

When Rebecca is asked by her family members if she wishes to join Eliezer on his journey back to Abraham in Canaan, she responds with a forceful "Yes!" Her response serves as a basis for several important laws that govern parent-child relationships in Judaism.

"Shalom Bayit, Little White Lies"

In parashat Vayeira, when Sarah learns that she is going to have a child at age 90, she laughs skeptically and says, "After I have withered shall I be fertile again, and my husband is old!" When G-d asks Abraham why Sarah has laughed, He omits Sarah's disrespectful reference to Abraham, saying instead that Sarah referred to herself about being old. Why the change?

"The 'Mitzvah' of Divorce"

Parashat Kee Teitzei includes the "mitzvah" to divorce one's wife. Upon further elucidation we see that this applies only when the spouses find life with each other to be incompatible. Nevertheless, Judaism believes that in order to establish a sacred and holy society, marriages must thrive in a sacred and holy environment. If not, it is a mitzvah to divorce one's spouse.

"The Hebrew Maidservant is Alive and Well"

The law of the Hebrew maidservant seems to be particularly antiquated and irrelevant in contemporary times. Nevertheless, there is not only much that we learn from it, but the law of the maidservant actually provides the basis for an important aspect of contemporary marital relations.

"The Jewish Attitude Towards Intermarriage"

In parashat Va'etchanan, we read of the stern prohibition against intermarriage with those who are not members of the Jewish faith. Different arguments are often presented why Jewish young people should not intermarry. Perhaps the most compelling argument is that only those who marry within the faith can hope to be part of the revolutionary mission of the Jewish people to perfect the world under the rule of the Al-mighty and to serve as a light unto the nations.

"The Jewish Attitude Towards Sexuality"

The two Torah portions that are read in this weekly portion discuss many laws pertaining to sexuality. Study of these rules proves that Judaism focuses not on repression, but on control and balance.

"The Torah's Recipe for Finding a Proper Mate"

This week's parasha is a primary source from which we learn much about the qualities that one should look for when seeking a mate. The lessons that may be gleaned from our scriptures serve as a sound guide, even for contemporary times. They are not primitive. In fact, in many instances, they are light-years ahead of contemporary practices and understandings.

"The Ordeal of the Sotah-Barbaric or Enlightened?"

The woman suspected of being unfaithful to her husband, the Sotah, and the ordeal to which she is subjected, is rather challenging. However, the ritual of the Sotah reveals many fascinating truths, and provides some important answers to questions with which we are commonly challenged in contemporary marital relationships.

"The Daughters of Tzelafchad: Legitimate Feminist Claims"

Distinguishing between legitimate and non-legitimate claims has become a fine art, especially when "political correctness" is mixed into the brew. In parashat Pinchas, we encounter the claim of the daughters of Tzelafchad who win the right to inherit their father's ancestral land in Israel. Along with other issues concerning women that are found in the Torah, the case of Tzelafchad's daughters underscores that Judaism is really light-years ahead of other civilizations in establishing fair and equitable parameters for Jewish women.